Magazine of the Misfit Toys

When I tire of my son's Lincoln Logs, Thomas trains, and the other 7 milion items I step on, trip over, sit on, duck from, get run over by, and last but not least, get hit in the head with. I'm glad Hi Fructose is out there, so I know there's toys for me too. These are toys that more often will just sit on a shelf with many collectors, but I'm sure I would let them go toe to toe with the Thomas trains, and the whole fleet of trucks that cause traffic jams in my front hall, just to see if artists and designers can make toys that withstand the punishment that only Tonka and Bruder can dish out.

I've enjoyed the first issue of Hi Fructose. It's a nicely designed/produced magazine, that could suck a reader into a world they didn't know existed and may not have cared. It's definitely something for the Juxtapoz crowd. I can't justify subscribing, but I have a strange fascination for well-crafted magazines, so I'm sure I'll pick this up again.

Particularly of interest is the photography of Brian McCarty. If you're spoiled daughter wanted to hire a photographer for Barbie and Ken's wedding, he probably wouldn't be the one to hire, he'd be busy taking the candids of Skipper shagging a bus boy next to the dumpster, or capturing a drunken Care Bear puking in the parking lot. McCarty has a knack for capturing the real life of toys. He has a gift for reading between the lines on the packaging copy, and goes beyond what the Saturday morning commercials let on.

Oh and he's got Master Shake cavorting with some bikini clad babes.

Important Job

We had just returned from the local toy
store from our old town. Yes,
there are still a few left. There were actually two in that

My son issued a mandate and was quite adamant that it was top

“Daddy! This is an important job. You need to
this out on the computer to everybody in our

My son is 3 1/2, actually just about 4 years old, and in his world
trucks, dirt, and trains rule. Especially Thomas the Tank

And we had just purchased “Henry's
, which has been discontinued
for years. So you can understand my son's excitement.

Now I'm not one of those that buys toys for my kids to just look at.
You know, keep it in the box so it doesn't lose its value while it
on a shelf in a kid's room collecting dust. So yes, all Hess
fair game. Boxes are open and even discarded. If they brake…well,
they brake. The child only cries because they broke a favorite toy,
because Mommy and Daddy can't believe they broke that toy that in 20
years would have bought 1/4 of a college textbook for said

So “Henry's Tunnel” was apparently from the 1996 Thomas the Tank
collection. Which, to my son my as well be, the Bronze Age. My
“important job” as he put it was to share with everyone a picture of
the Thomas the Tank Engine lineup for 1996.

So here it is.

My son also told me how he's no longer going to include Q when singing
the alphabet. He wasn't clear about the reason why. Perhaps it has
something to do with that whole “U
always follows Q”
rule, which I'm
sure back in the day was as hotly contested as the designated hitter
rule in baseball. And since spelling to him, is not nearly as
as digging, I'll spare him the exception of proper nouns like Qatar
until he's older.

In fact, given recent events, I'd like to avoid any mention of the
Middle East to my son for quite some time.

I should mention that he also likes to jump from 11 right to 14 when
counting. I remind him of the existence of 12 and 13, but he tells me
he knows that, but just doesn't want to say those.

You'll know if my son has become an architect someday, when you report
to your office on the 17th floor, and realize you're only 15 stories