Christmas in August on Valentine's Day

I should say St. Valentine's Day. Well, not anymore, it's now Friday, but this post somehow disappeared after writing it about 24 hours ago.

I never dreamt I'd someday look back fondly at the Crazy Eddie television commercials. Yet, here I find myself waxing nostalgically over some Northeastern pop culture detritus.

I never embed, I usually just link, but I've reconsidered my position on that. Why send the eyeballs elsewhere when they can stay right here.

I remember buying vinyl records and cassettes at Crazy Eddie, as well as a floppy disk drive for my Atari 800XL computer. These ads actually inspired the Seinfeld episode entitled, “The Junk Mail”. Elaine dates a guy who was once the fictional television pitchman known as “The Wiz”. Incidentally, The Wiz, later known as Nobody Beats The Wiz, was also an electronics retailer located predominantly in New York and New Jersey. But since their prices weren't completely insane they often used real-life characters in their ads, such as Joe Namath.

This was long before Namath went 0-for-2 in pass attempts on the sidelines, seeking out kisses from Suzy Kolber. (Yep, that link goes to the infamous video. I thought it would look kind of crappy to put two embedded videos in the same post. Especially when the point of this video was to highlight the Crazy Eddie ads, and not focus on the ancillary Joe Namath reference.)

What now?

There's like 30 blog posts floating around in my head, yet none of them have been able to win their battle of king of the hill to reach the apex of my cerebrum, I'm a little bit right-brained and a little bit left-brained, I bat righty and throw lefty, and have a bipolor condition with complexities that somehow make the Yankees vs. Red Sox not completely cut and dry. That said, the separate mililiters of cream rising to the top lie somewhere in the middle, that slight fissure or fold between the two cortexes (Is that what they're called? Is the plural form cortices? corti?) which with the nature of fissures is not quite the highest point within my skull. Expect something involving the IRS, the MoMA, Joe Franklin, YouTube, Melanie Martinez, cheeseburgers, a possible revisit to my micro Rocketboom obsession, or possibly some grand unification theory involving all the former (I'd say 'above', but some of those things may fall to the left). All from this little curio shop on the Internet, that walks the line between not so great, and not so bad.

I know a few people that live under rocks, so here's a courtesy for them to see the wacky treadmill curiosity that is OK GO. And I don't believe Spike Jonze or any of his alternate personalities were involved or harmed in the making of this video.

Where there is no money, there will always be ingenuity.

Nothing much

I've never watched Trading Spouses, but I've seen that recent commercial with that woman screaming her head off quite a few times. You have as well. And it has scarred your brain like the maze etched onto the screen of an old Pac-Man machine that's never been unplugged.

Now is she or is she not the bus driver from South Park? Her name is Margaret, as far as I can tell? I don't know the name of the bus driver though?

Can't find pic of her now. Sleep calls me, so I leave. But if you've seen South Park, I'm sure you'll agree. And that picture up top doesn't do Margaret justice, the commercials showed her screaming her head off, but not screaming, “SIT DOWN, KID!” Fox will probably switch up the pictures on their web site by the time people read this in the late morning, and readers will just scratch their heads.

Fox Fucks Fall Fastball Festival ! Freakin' Fascists !

the fall classic. The leaves must be falling, cool breezes are blowing,
and my chocolate suede car coat readies for another season. No, I am
not the copy editor of the J.Peterman catalog, just a baseball fan.

And it
must be the Yankees vs. Red Sox once again. I know this because the
Pedro Martinez takedown of Don Zimmer has just eclipsed the falling of
the second tower as the most aired video clip across all the combined
Fox Networks. At this point like most of you and your kin, I've been
scarred for life by both.

the easily offended, well your easily offended and it's too late for me
to make it up to you. But I have no intention of taking these matters
lightly. Just as the Bush administration and its public relations
people, (for convenience sake, let's just call them Fox News) have
hijacked the 9-11 footage to use in its campaign for 4 more years of
wiping their ass with the Constitution. Wow, I think that last sentence
was offensive in too many ways to name. Perhaps I should say wiping
their asses with the Constitution. At last that will get the Grammar
Police off my ass. Are they still independent or are they now part of
Homeland Security, too? If anyone would like to reply with just how
many ways that last sentence was offensive, that's cool. Someone told
me the other day that this was still a free country, although they
spoke in hushed tones and in tongues at the time.

was I? Oh yeah, Bush used 9-11 in his campaign advertisements to show
how strong and resolved he is. And then he told us about how resolved
he is. And then he told us again.

Now I
have a bit of a problem with this because to put it briefly, 9-11
happened on his watch, and there's enough stories about all the
warnings and briefings that were ignored, that there's no need to link
to them. Everyone knows, or knew and forgot and went shopping. Me too I
got a sweet pair of shades at PacSun today. Then I remembered again.

So anyway this behavior is despicable. Using peoples deaths in the worst tragedy to befall the U.S. to get more votes.

don't look at planes the same way when I look up in the sky, especially
when they're flying at just the wrong angle. You know the angle I'm
talking about, you saw it, too.

in Atlantic City I saw a young Dominican and a crotchety senior (I
never actually looked up the definition of “crotchety”, but I'm sure it
means something like “full of piss and vinegar”) in a heated debate and
I started having flashbacks. As the elder moved in closer, I nearly
fainted expecting to see his younger adversary palming his skull and
sending him to the asphalt. Post-traumatic Zimmer syndrome does not
appear in WebMD, and I'm pretty sure any drugs I take to combat it
won't be deductible on my Schedule A.

overdoing it but now we're getting to the point of this rant, and
actually where it all began before my Tarantino-esque typing sent me
back up top of this diatribe. So what follows is the beginning, and I'm
not re-typing it again so let's hope this prologue meshes well, and
hasn't sent you back to your usual pron-crawling.

it surprise anyone that Fox is broadcasting both playoff games at the
same time? It doesn't make sense ratings-wise to pit both of your
networks against one another and sabotage ad revenues, since true
baseball fans are spending about 4 hours flipping between games, as
opposed to spending 8 hours watching them at different times. 3 of the
4 teams are from great baseball markets which should ensure high
ratings no matter when the games are broadcast. So to the
less-than-average joe, it seems like a dumb business move and someone
should lose their job.

But it's Fox.

Fox knows exactly what they're doing.

final Presidential debate is on right now. As I'm typing. It'll be done
by the time you are done reading this. And I can't tell you about it
either. Because I'm watching the Red Sox and Yanks (1-0 Yanks in the
bottom of the 2nd right now, by the way).

knows that the greatest baseball rivalry of all time is a much greater
rivalry than Bush versus Kerry and is exploiting that truth, so less
Americans will see  Bush embarass himself on live television
against John Kerry. And even if Bush doesn't put his foot in his mouth
at any time, Fox isn't taking any chances.

presidential debate could only worsen things in “the polls” for King
George II. Now I know my accusations of Fox bias is nothing new.
Michael Moore told you (and showed you), the Outfoxed guy did the same
thing, as well as any Democrat you've talked to for more than 5 minutes
about the state of the U.S. media.

can re-broadcast the Desperate Housewives and Lost season premieres, a
la HBO's treatment of the Sopranos and Sex in the City, would it be too
much for FOX to re-broadcast the presidential debates?

This just in…

…straight from the Fox News ticker…

…they are…

…Superbowl Sunday.

Thanks, Uncle Rupert.

it from me, the idiot who decided to miss both baseball games and the
Presidential debate, because he got a bug up his ass to launch version
2.0 of his blog.