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Bo Knows Tecmo, and Apparently I Don't Know How to Save

May 20, 2007 No comments

There's too much going on in my head right now. And none of it can describe how irritated I am by my own stupidity, because for the umpteenth time, I did not open a separate browser window and consequently lost my entire post. And, here I sit with less of an urge to try to recapture the rare magic that comes along when a post flows beautifully from my fingertips to its pixelcoated fruition.

I sit here with more of an urge to throw things, a complete counterproductive measure that will not prove anything, except that it will fortify my claim of stupidity since it's highly likely that such throwing would wake up my not quite two year old in the adjoining room. There's a reason time's are listed on blog posts, so shift your irises and peek somewhere nearby and things will make sense.

Alright. Spit out the rest. Post what you were gonna post, and get out.

I found a video clip that reminded me of how dominant Bo Jackson was in the original Tecmo Bowl game for the NES. Actually Game | Life found it, or GorillaMask.

Well, I wouldn't have found it if I wasn't searching for an online version of an article on Lord British that just appeared in Wired. (Didn't find it, by the way.)

But Game | Life featured the unstoppable, uncontainable, un-hip-injured 8-bit Bo Jackson footage in a post about the next Tecmo Bowl. It's safe to say I won't be pre-ordering that one. I'm not sure the current generation of systems could reproduce the fun quotient of the first two Tecmo Bowl releases. The beauty of Tecmo Bowl was in its simplicity.

And I still think the picture on the box looks like Robin Williams from that football movie he did with Kurt Russell. Was it called The Best of Times? [Blogger jumps to new window to fact-check,then returns to finish post.] Yes, it was.

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Is you is, OR-TIZ you ain't, my Baby?

October 19, 2004 No comments

I haven't had that much sleep that's the best I can come up with.

I think Red Sox and Yankees fans are all dumbfounded over what they've
just witnesses. Sunday night's game I missed, falling asleep reading my
son a few stories, although I had dreams of the Red Sox tying the
score. Although the real game departed from there; my dream included
the Yankees decked out in white pinstripe business suits (and no, the
dream did not include Michael Kay's midgame uniform description), as
well as the tying run being scored by Dana Snow, the first female
pinch-runner in MLB history, as far as I know.

Now the Yankees in bussiness suits is by no means much of a stretch of
the imagination, based on their usual efficiency and productivity in
slapping beatdowns like Donald Trump handing out pink slips. As far as
Dana Snow, I don't know any Dana Snow. I marginally knew a Dana in high
school who drove a Fiero, but she had different last name. Snow could
be her married name. But who knows, its hard to score with a Fiero.

Anyway I was prepared to be calling for Terry Francona head on a
platter with some fava beans and a nice chianti, but despite his best
efforts, the Red Sox still won. He must have known something the rest
of the world didn't. But I hope he counted his blessings on 10 fingers,
and realized he doesn't have an 11th.

I had a running list last night of management miscues, but a Sox
victory and good night's rest has shortened it down a bit. Here's a few
observations:

(1.) The score was 4-2 with no outs and Johnny Damon comes up after
Bellhorn led off with a double, and relieving Mussina from the game,
much as he did to Mussina in Game 1, ending the perfect game that
evening. Damon's about 1-for-122 so far in this ALCS, and is typically
a good bunter. But since the Red Sox led the majors with the fewest
sacrifice bunts (12), Damon swung away, and if memory serves me
correctly, struck out swinging. Needless to say the runner did not get
over, and did not score.

Later in the game, Bellhorn failed to buunt a runner from 1st to 2nd,
but then ripped an 0-2 pitch for a single. This time Damon got the bunt
sign, and promptly popped out to Posada.

To be fair, I can't lay the blame on Francona for lack of execution in
the second example, but for not giving a bunt sign with Bellhorn on
second, I don't know. I know they were down 2 runs, but I've seen
enough Yankees-Red Sox games to know that almost every inning has a run
scoring opportunity, so let's take one at a time. Just as the Res Sox
had to look at this series day-by-day, down 3-0.

(2.) Cabrera's on first. Posada gets hit in the hand with a foul pitch and is visited by the trainer.

RUN!

Cabrera's a fast runner, will steal close to 20 bases a year in a full season, why not put him in position to score on a single.

(3.) Dave Roberts is a great asset to this club, and showed everyone
why when he rattled Tom Gordon and went from 1st to 3rd on aTrot Nixon
single. But I don't like putting in a pinch runner on first base for
Trot Nixon, in a close late inning game. Trot's had some big hits
against New York in the past, and taking two starters out of the game,
when the spectre of another extra inning ballgame is looming in the
shadows, could come back to bite you in the ass.

Turns out it didn't. Kapler even made a nice play on a Jeter fly hit to left.

(4.) Arroyo came in and pitched lights out to the top of the order,
striking out A-Rod and Sheffield. Then didn't come out for the next
inning. There may not be a tomorrow to save this guy for. There's no
“in case Schilling isn't healthy enough” just yet. You got to win one,
before you win two. and at this point each day is another day to wake
up and just win one.

But the Boston bullpen combined for eight scoreless innings, as a
whole. This teams has more rubber arms than Plastic-Man, Elongated Man,
Dr. Reed Richards, and Stretch Armstrong combined. Mike Myers came in
to start the next inning and struck out Matsui on 4 pitches.

(5.) Myers a lefty, pitches to one batter, Matsui (see results above),
and is replaced by another lefty in Alan Embree. A situational lefty is
still a lefty, but as I said before 8 scoreless innings by Red Sox
relievers.

Now I'm seeing a pattern, although originally I thought I'd be
lambasting Francona, someone could probably make a good argument that
he did a great job last night.

Let's just say that luck was on his side. I got 2 more and I'm not sure they can be explained away.

(6.) David Ortiz attempting to steal second. 4 stolen bases in his
career, and Francona sends him now. Even if it's a lie, please tell me
someone missed a hit-and-run sign. Or that Ortiz went on his own.

You know what, don't tell me anything. David Ortiz doesn't deserve
anything less than hero status right now. And if he thinks he's Rickey
Henderson (circa 1984, not 2004) then he just might be.

Posada (ROTFLHFAO) fired a ball to Bernie Williams in center that M.J.,
I mean Derek Jeter intercepted and layed the tag on the mercurial
Ortiz.

Replays show that Ortiz right hand looked like it beat the tag. 
Perhaps the umpire used his David Ortiz Strat-O-Matic card and some
dice to determine the call, or maybe even more careful review may show
that Jeter's tag nipped the helmet before landind square in the back of
Ortiz.

But about 2 innings prior, the second base umpire might have missed the
call when the troubled Johnny Damon, attempted to steal second after an
infield hit. Replay showed Damon to be in just before Jeter's tag with
the wrist, then the heel of the glove.

At this point, I'm thinking, the Sox are not supposed to win this game.
It would have happened already. Perhaps the ghost of Ted Williams is at
war with the ghost of Joe Dimaggio, in the dark recesses of
Cooperstown, (no museum's open at 11:00 PM that I know of), vying to
battle the Babe to save the entire Red Sox Nation from eternal
damnation and reverse the curse.

And I thought things weren't looking good for New England as I watched #7 unfold.

(7.) Varitek catching Wakefield. This was like watching a game of “hot
potato” at a convalescent home. I KNEW I was watching how the Red Sox
were going to lose this baseball game.

I thank God that my Red Sox fan father, born in 1925, decided to shut
off the game just before Varitek hit the game-tying sacrifice fly to
center. Because with his multiple bypass surgeries, I'm not sure he
would have made it through this.

Varitek only caught Wakefield for about 2 innings this season. doug
Mirabelli catches Wakefield's starts to give Varitek a day off. But
your starting catcher doesn't typically get days off in the ALCS. But
sometimes they should.

Especially when marathon games follows marathon game on consecutive nights, and catching knuckleballers just ain't your bag.

3 passed balls. The first on a strikeout of Gary Sheffield. Of course,
Sheffield reached first safely, that's the way the script should read.
But Wakefield shook this off, and shook off every dropped pitch by
Varitek that didn't result in a passed ball.

Mirabelli desperately needed to be in this game. I know Francona wanted
Varitek's bat in the lineup. I know that Varitek, who has hit miserably
against Mike Mussina drew a walk batting right-handed against Mussina
to score the first Boston run. And yes, I know it was Varitek who hit
the sacrifice fly to tie this game.

But, if each passed ball is worth 90 feet, and you have 3 passed balls,
simple algebra tells you the 4th passed ball puts a runner on home
plate. And then you would most certainly like to have Varitek's bat in
the lineup.

After the first passed ball, every pitch by Wakefield was excruciating.
But it wasn't his fault. Maybe it was his fault that he was that good,
consistently throwing strikes. You knew one of those balls, that always
hit Varitek in the glove, would eventually score the winning run.

Francona had time to realize even before the 2nd and 3rd passed balls,
how badly this could end. But he stuck with Varitek for better or
worse. Even intentionally walking Posada after a passed ball had moved
Matsui from first to second.

Francona knew that Varitek would catch just enough balls to give Ortiz
another shot at becoming hero and sending the last remaining Nomar
jerseys in Boston to the Salvation Army.

I'm just happy we've got at least one more game.

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Fox Fucks Fall Fastball Festival ! Freakin' Fascists !

October 14, 2004 1 comment

Ahh
the fall classic. The leaves must be falling, cool breezes are blowing,
and my chocolate suede car coat readies for another season. No, I am
not the copy editor of the J.Peterman catalog, just a baseball fan.


And it
must be the Yankees vs. Red Sox once again. I know this because the
Pedro Martinez takedown of Don Zimmer has just eclipsed the falling of
the second tower as the most aired video clip across all the combined
Fox Networks. At this point like most of you and your kin, I've been
scarred for life by both.


For
the easily offended, well your easily offended and it's too late for me
to make it up to you. But I have no intention of taking these matters
lightly. Just as the Bush administration and its public relations
people, (for convenience sake, let's just call them Fox News) have
hijacked the 9-11 footage to use in its campaign for 4 more years of
wiping their ass with the Constitution. Wow, I think that last sentence
was offensive in too many ways to name. Perhaps I should say wiping
their asses with the Constitution. At last that will get the Grammar
Police off my ass. Are they still independent or are they now part of
Homeland Security, too? If anyone would like to reply with just how
many ways that last sentence was offensive, that's cool. Someone told
me the other day that this was still a free country, although they
spoke in hushed tones and in tongues at the time.


Where
was I? Oh yeah, Bush used 9-11 in his campaign advertisements to show
how strong and resolved he is. And then he told us about how resolved
he is. And then he told us again.


Now I
have a bit of a problem with this because to put it briefly, 9-11
happened on his watch, and there's enough stories about all the
warnings and briefings that were ignored, that there's no need to link
to them. Everyone knows, or knew and forgot and went shopping. Me too I
got a sweet pair of shades at PacSun today. Then I remembered again.


So anyway this behavior is despicable. Using peoples deaths in the worst tragedy to befall the U.S. to get more votes.


I
don't look at planes the same way when I look up in the sky, especially
when they're flying at just the wrong angle. You know the angle I'm
talking about, you saw it, too.


Today
in Atlantic City I saw a young Dominican and a crotchety senior (I
never actually looked up the definition of “crotchety”, but I'm sure it
means something like “full of piss and vinegar”) in a heated debate and
I started having flashbacks. As the elder moved in closer, I nearly
fainted expecting to see his younger adversary palming his skull and
sending him to the asphalt. Post-traumatic Zimmer syndrome does not
appear in WebMD, and I'm pretty sure any drugs I take to combat it
won't be deductible on my Schedule A.


Ok…I'm
overdoing it but now we're getting to the point of this rant, and
actually where it all began before my Tarantino-esque typing sent me
back up top of this diatribe. So what follows is the beginning, and I'm
not re-typing it again so let's hope this prologue meshes well, and
hasn't sent you back to your usual pron-crawling.


Does
it surprise anyone that Fox is broadcasting both playoff games at the
same time? It doesn't make sense ratings-wise to pit both of your
networks against one another and sabotage ad revenues, since true
baseball fans are spending about 4 hours flipping between games, as
opposed to spending 8 hours watching them at different times. 3 of the
4 teams are from great baseball markets which should ensure high
ratings no matter when the games are broadcast. So to the
less-than-average joe, it seems like a dumb business move and someone
should lose their job.


But it's Fox.


Fox knows exactly what they're doing.


The
final Presidential debate is on right now. As I'm typing. It'll be done
by the time you are done reading this. And I can't tell you about it
either. Because I'm watching the Red Sox and Yanks (1-0 Yanks in the
bottom of the 2nd right now, by the way).


Fox
knows that the greatest baseball rivalry of all time is a much greater
rivalry than Bush versus Kerry and is exploiting that truth, so less
Americans will see  Bush embarass himself on live television
against John Kerry. And even if Bush doesn't put his foot in his mouth
at any time, Fox isn't taking any chances.


The
presidential debate could only worsen things in “the polls” for King
George II. Now I know my accusations of Fox bias is nothing new.
Michael Moore told you (and showed you), the Outfoxed guy did the same
thing, as well as any Democrat you've talked to for more than 5 minutes
about the state of the U.S. media.

If ABC
can re-broadcast the Desperate Housewives and Lost season premieres, a
la HBO's treatment of the Sopranos and Sex in the City, would it be too
much for FOX to re-broadcast the presidential debates?


This just in…


…straight from the Fox News ticker…


…they are…


…Superbowl Sunday.


Thanks, Uncle Rupert.


That's
it from me, the idiot who decided to miss both baseball games and the
Presidential debate, because he got a bug up his ass to launch version
2.0 of his blog.

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